Everyone in the Northeast ready for the first French Toast Event of the season? Good gravy, you’d think it had never rained here before – the market was chaos. At noon. On a Thursday.  I was, of course, highly annoyed, as this is a chore that I detest for myriad reasons. I did however buy a 2-liter of Mt. Dew throwback as a consolation prize for myself. So…net zero?

So, anyhow, it’s time for Last Call. Regale us with tales from your local market, wherein the crazy cat ladies fight over the last can of Tender Vittles (or whatever, I don’t own a cat). Or, you know, talk about sports, that’s good too. Totally up to you folks.

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I’m going with the same girl two days in a row. I love redheads, and I just discovered this girl and fell in love. C’mon, tell me she’s not hot, I dare you to. I will hunt you down. Anyway, here’s your Eye Opener.

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Hey folks, this’ll be a bit out of the ordinary tonight. As you may or may not know, commenter and occasional contributor semper-ubi-sub-ubi is now in China, with the goal of teaching there. Or something.  Anyhow, he sent me an email with some updates for the crew here at The Pub/Last Call. So here goes:

• I had always thought that things are bigger in Texas, but they’re even bigger in China.
• The visa regulations changed, so all the foreign teachers with my organization at my school were to go to Hong Kong (probably by bus) to get our visas changed to work permits. One person complained so instead of us all going, myself and another teacher went to Hong Kong carrying 16 other passports (leaving those teachers in China without passports, which is kinda a no-no).
• Once we got to Hong Kong, we can’t even get our own workpermits, because doing so would screw some of the others over, so we’re flying back to our city only to have to return to HK in a few days probably by train or bus that will take over 12 hours.
• The person who complained works as a lawyer in LA. Fuck him. because of him a decent plan (although only decent through chance it seems, since the office thinks that things are ducky) was shelved for one that they had no idea if it would work.
• At least we we were given a stipend for going, so we’re totally going to blow it on buying coffee (to take back) and eating at nice restaurants.

Otherwise:

• I’ve eaten something like octopus and some sort of snails. One month ago, I never would have thought this. I come from a family which ‘exotic’ is Mandarin or pizza. I guess I just think that all the food is dirty here (as in whole chicken in the soup, head and feet included), so I might as well try everything and see if I like it.
• I had a crayfish and mango sandwich today from a McDonald’s mccafe (HK). It was really good.
• I’m still optimistic about things here.
• Hope you like the picture of Arnold:

Damn, those Chinese sure know how to motivate! Woo! Thanks,  Semper, that was interesting, and in some spots, mildly disturbing.  Make sure you keep sending in updates!

An now that you’re all properly wound up, head over to Last Call at Avoiding the Drop.  I know you’re looking for ways to spend this extra energy you’ve got, but please don’t open the door to the Monkey Room Last fella to do that lost an appendage. And not something useless like hands or feet.

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Sorry I zonked out on Monday, I pulled a muscle in my back and it was with great effort that I made it from my bedroom to the computer room today. But I toughed it out, swallowed some advil, and got you an eye opener, even if it is closer too lunch. Let’s just say we were out really late last night. Now without further ado, yesterday’s news…

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Abbreviated vacation edition gang.  Sorry for my absence yesterday (assuming anyone missed me, and *shrugs* if not) – spur of the moment decisions resulting in a late return home get in the way of blog posting.

So, here’s your bumper for Last Call over at The Gally Blog – g’won there’s nothing going on here – I’ve got to clean up after this weekend.

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So USA Soccer decided that “better the devil you know” was the best strategy they could come up with, and every soccer blogger lost their collective minds last night.  The funny thing is, all I hear is complaint after complaint, and while I know I have come out and said that it was time to cut ties with Bob, I freely admitted that I didn’t have a plan for a replacement, just an idea that there needs to be a complete overhaul of USA Soccer from the ground floor up.  I advocated a czar-like position and hey, if you want to give it to Jurgen Klinsmann or whomever, fine, have at it.  Bob or Klinsmann or you or me are only going to succeed as manager of the national team if and when complete and total change to the approach of bedding in players happens.  Bottom line, end of story.  If it’s just change for change’s sake to bring in someone else, who gives a shit?  You’ll still pull off the occasional upset or lose to Trinidad and Tobago, and everyone will go nuts in one direction or the other, but you’re still just treading water ultimately.  So Bob gets to stay until Brazil 2014.  Excellent.  I’ll make the prediction now that Landon Donovan, Tim Howard, Carlos Bocanegra, Oguchi Onyewu, the Jonathons, and the whole crew from South Africa will probably make up most of your squad for Brazil.  And you will maybe get out of the group stage AGAIN, and you will lose (unless you get a miracle draw) in the Round of 16 AGAIN.  This is like running a marathon on a treadmill with these people at USA Soccer.  You run a long goddam way but ultimately, you’re not getting anywhere.

Get me?

Good, now go out into the world.

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The amazing thing is how well this guy is pulling, despite his mock fashion atrocity. I think that just goes to show what women want. By the way, I was kinda hoping people had stopped doing this, but I just saw a popped collar guy last Wednesday. My friend that I texted about it tried to spin it by saying he must have been European, but I don’t know too many Europeans with Cubs hats. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Anyway, equally perplexing is Gally’s format, which is why you should just click this link for Last Call at The Gally Blog. Then go read the Sunday Brunch. Occasionally, people work hard for your enjoyment.

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Pfft. About the only good thing about the Everton game today was that they didn’t wear their Barbie pink kit. On the other hand, that might have scared Villa enough that at least **one** of the 17 corner kicks might have been converted. Ugh.

So, beyond that, I have no idea what transpired in the world of sport today – feel free to discuss it, or anything else, in the comments.

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Good morning, geniuses! And welcome to the Sunday Brunch. Now I might not have a job or a girlfriend or a site that people read, but what I do have is sources. And one of said sources has unearthed a skeleton from the closet of one of our esteemed Pub writers. Namely, an almost 7-year-old comedy sketch written by one of the staff here. And I volunteered to take on the challenge of posting it, despite the fact that with my computer skills, it’s a formatting nightmare. Though if it looks weird, this is actual script format for the most part. Now, according to legend, when this sketch was read aloud in comedy writing class, said staffer’s teacher told him/her to “take this sketch home and burn it.” I suppose they have a little thing they like to teach called “writing at the top of your intelligence.” Personally, I think it might have been a bit unfairly maligned. Sure, it’s more than a bit over the top, but it’s actually funny. More importantly, it’s actually sports-related. Another note, the sketch, was allegedly inspired by the one and only Jim Rome, who said of Olympic athletes, “If you told an Olympic athlete that shooting up horse brains would take one one-hundredth of a second off his time, he’d be like, “Where’s the needle?”" Rack me! So transport yourself to a theatrical place and imagine how this might look on stage. Sadly, it was written before “/door flies open” was coined. I’ve posted it in its entirity with only one change. Apparently, the price of gas has gone up over a dollar since 2003, so I made that edit to reflect our current climate. Enjoy. Or not.

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Frankly, the weather here in the East has been so grand, we’ve been outside enjoying it instead of staying inside and tending the homefront.  But that’s neither here nor there. Gather ’round, the Pub’s open for Last Call.

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