Last Call

by First Derivative on July 5, 2009 at 4:30 pm
434 Comments (Including 59 Conversation)Comments

Here at the Phoenix Pub, we hope everyone enjoyed their holiday weekend. On my Fourth of July, Miss Derivative, myself, and our friends decided to go canoeing in a river here in Long Island. The rowing was going well – and then it went swimmingly.
The problem with Miss D and I in a canoe is that I provide rather stronger propulsion in the rear than she gives up front. The river also had a wicked current from the center and right bank to the left, and a stiff breeze was creating crested waves. Eventually, my propulsion led us to the center of the river, where the current and waves had us in a bit of a situation. Trying to get back to the left side, we ended up going parallel to the waves – which ended poorly when a wave tipped over our canoe.

The section of the river we flipped in was approximately 12 feet deep, and we were about 200 yards from the bank. Unfortunately, in the capsizing, the canoe was taking on enough water that it was sinking – which put me in the situation that just to avoid paying for a canoe I had to keep dumping water out, but did not have enough leverage to get in said canoe.

After 15 minutes of treading water, luckily for me, a passing motorboat towed us to some reeds so we could get into the boat, and then towed us to the rest stop (about 300 yards away.) Unfortunately, one of my friends had his camera with him and took some photos during the tow.

First look at the tow

First look at the tow

Closer look

Closer look

FD Dripping Wet

FD Dripping Wet

Enjoy the evening!

Put the Glass Down

Tags: , , , ,
Categories: Last Call

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 4:30 pm and is filed under Last Call. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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  • Orr's Crabapples aka SBPJ
    July 5, 2009 at 10:53 pm

    [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/__L-mp8PSHQ4/SP7zZm2X5VI/AAAAAAAAGAo/H3Z8UfhK1y8/s400/olivia+wilde+2.jpg[/img]


  • Orr's Crabapples aka SBPJ
    July 5, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    New favorite…Olivia Wilde might have Kristen Bell beat in my book

    /ducks


  • Adam
    July 5, 2009 at 10:57 pm

    Oh, Sculptor I saw something you said about thinking about picking Everton as you team, well just remember what you said here: http://avoidingthedrop.com/2009/06/05/one-teams-shirts-are-still-insured-but-insurance-does-nothing-about-an-ugly-shirt/


    • Sculptor?!?
      July 5, 2009 at 11:02 pm

      LOL, I didn’t forget what I said! But I can change my mind about supporting the team, especially now that I know more about them. But I’ll never buy that shirt.

      BTW, you get to bust on Fuse about that too, if Dempsey signs with them.


      • Adam
        July 5, 2009 at 11:05 pm

        Haha, yeah I might have to, I don’t want Deuce to sign with them because I want a reason to get a Fulham shirt.

        There is always the away shirt which would hopefully not look as bad as that, or last season’s shirt which looks good and plus it’d be cheaper.

        If I had to pick a team right now I’d pick Everton though.


        • HockeyMountain
          July 5, 2009 at 11:09 pm

          A question for all the English Premier league experts here (and I know there’s a lot). If my team has been relegated, can I pick up a new one, at least for the upcoming season.

          Also this may go for hockey too, since the Avs seem hell-bent on being the first ever NHL team that gets relegated to the AHL.


          • Adam
            July 5, 2009 at 11:13 pm

            I’d say so if you’re a causal fan. Obviously a hardcore fan thats been following their team forever is going to disagree, but its no fun if you occasionally watch FSC in the morning and your team isn’t there anymore.

            I’m assuming you followed Newcastle.


            • HockeyMountain
              July 5, 2009 at 11:17 pm

              yeah,

              I’ve never been a hardcore fan because I’ve never had FSC, and I could never justify spending an extra $20 or so a month for one channel I’d actually watch. So all i really catch of them is what I see on the internets, when I woke up butt-ass early Sat mornings (which is almost never).

              But I’ve always liked Newcastle, and I hope they recover.


        • Sculptor?!?
          July 5, 2009 at 11:11 pm

          Yeah, I’ve got a thing for goalkeepers. And Timmy’s about as good a sales pitch as you’re likely to get. If I buy a kit piece, it’ll be this year’s kit. the 2010 kit is an abomination. ESPECIALLY on someone my shape.


  • Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner
    July 5, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    Hi all, I’m back from vacation and full of hatred for parts of my family.

    Oh and this fark thread may be of interest to some here:

    http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4490219


  • Fawn Liebowitz
    July 5, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    FD–glad no lioves were lost!


  • MarissaExplainsItAll
    July 5, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    There are a lot of white ladies up in hurrr…
    /just an observation


    • Sculptor?!?
      July 5, 2009 at 11:05 pm

      Oh, fine, here:
      [img]http://bestof.provocateuse.com/images/photos/salma_hayek_99.jpg[/img]


    • RonArtestTableLeg
      July 5, 2009 at 11:06 pm

      That can change…
      [img]http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/michelle-rodriguez/pictures/michelle-rodriguez-picture-1.jpg[/img]


    • Adam
      July 5, 2009 at 11:11 pm

      I think just having a lot of ladies up in hurr is an accomplishment for us.

      /high fives for all the dudes!


      • MarissaExplainsItAll
        July 5, 2009 at 11:12 pm

        racist….


        • Adam
          July 5, 2009 at 11:16 pm

          you can have a high five too if you’d like. I also date Latina/mixed girls almost exclusively, so I can’t be racist. Also I know a black person, so like totally impossible.


          • Rob in WI
            July 5, 2009 at 11:17 pm

            Know a black person, or have a black friend?

            I have a black friend.

            But only one. I don’t want the neighbors to talk.


            • Adam
              July 5, 2009 at 11:39 pm

              Marissa’s racialism accusation made me remember a story!:
              I was at a club for my friends birthday party and was essentially sexually assaulted my her friend the whole night (not that It wasn’t somewhat enjoyable) but the girl ended up being my shitty DII school’s mascot, so whenever I saw that stupid roadrunner I knew it was her and she’d fucking wave to me everytime I saw her.


              • Rob in WI
                July 5, 2009 at 11:44 pm

                I have no idea why you decided to add that story to my post. Not that I minded, and not that it wasn’t a good story. Just seemed like quite the non-sequitor.

                anyway, can anyone ELSE say that they shagged (or molested) their school’s mascot?


          • Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner
            July 5, 2009 at 11:19 pm

            Magic Johnson once walked by me in a hotel lobby, does that count?


          • MarissaExplainsItAll
            July 5, 2009 at 11:19 pm

            Well someone just proved me wrong!


        • RonArtestTableLeg
          July 5, 2009 at 11:22 pm

          [img]http://www.wallpaperez.info/wallpaper/celebrities/Jordana-Brewster-1118.jpg[/img]


        • RonArtestTableLeg
          July 5, 2009 at 11:42 pm

          I was going to post a different picture of a woman of a different race. It’s probably a good thing i didn’t though.


      • Rob in WI
        July 5, 2009 at 11:16 pm

        High Five!


    • FirstDerivative
      July 5, 2009 at 11:12 pm

      [img]http://2k3hd.com/nucleus/media/1/20080810-Devon%20Aoki.jpg[/img]
      devon okai?


    • K-Gun
      July 5, 2009 at 11:13 pm

      I didn’t want to be the one to request a shift. Thank you.


    • HockeyMountain
      July 5, 2009 at 11:19 pm

      And now we know the answer to Sheriff Bart’s eternal question.


  • Azian Zero
    July 5, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    Whats good everyone. Celebrating one of my last weekend in the states for awhile…

    Anyone make a Steve McNair joke yet?


    • RonArtestTableLeg
      July 5, 2009 at 11:07 pm

      My friends took care of that at the bbq yesterday…

      “Hey, he did make a career out of playing through injuries”

      “Yeah it’s gonna be tough to play through this one”


  • Fawn Liebowitz
    July 5, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    I’m just glad I can post via BlackBerry…no matter how inane said posts may be. Waiting for dinner date–I want to go home!


  • Sculptor?!?
    July 5, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    [img]http://luduran.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/halle-berry.jpg[/img]


  • Business_Socks
    July 5, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    So what’s good in here, my dear internet pals?


    • MarissaExplainsItAll
      July 5, 2009 at 11:23 pm

      Random question- Do you have a free preivew weekend for HBO or something?


  • Fawn Liebowitz
    July 5, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    Yay! Rasheed Wallace to the Celts!


  • FirstDerivative
    July 5, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    BTW – TNT Playing ID4 Again! and I’m watching!


  • Business_Socks
    July 5, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    @MarissaExplainsItAll – Was that directed at me?


  • Rob in WI
    July 5, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    Funny People?

    Yay or Nay?


    • HockeyMountain
      July 5, 2009 at 11:39 pm

      I’m going to see it. haven’t seen it yet


    • FatNakedMoleRat
      July 5, 2009 at 11:44 pm

      I don’t know what to think of it. I haven’t liked anything that Adam Sandler has done in a long damn time, but I really like everyone else involved. I’ll probably go watch it when I have a “Double Feature” at the AMC 21 when it’s 95 out. Also, at first I thought you were just asking how people felt about funny people, not the movie, and I thought it was a very bizarre question. After a long weekend of beer, ball games, bbq and ‘Merica I’m a little bit slow today.


  • Business_Socks
    July 5, 2009 at 11:37 pm

    Marissa and whoever else asked a Ron related question – No, I don’t have free HBO this weekend but people started RTing my Armageddon stuff, so I sort of live blogged Lakeview Terrace as Ron (I know, it’s becoming a sickness).

    The followers jumped because a guy named Aziz Ansari who has a shit ton of followers implored people to follow. Crazy.


  • Adam
    July 5, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    WTF, this posted up top for some reason

    Marissa’s racialism accusation made me remember a story!:
    I was at a club for my friends birthday party and was essentially sexually assaulted my her friend the whole night (not that It wasn’t somewhat enjoyable) but the girl ended up being my shitty DII school’s mascot, so whenever I saw that stupid roadrunner I knew it was her and she’d fucking wave to me everytime I saw her.


    • Rob in WI
      July 5, 2009 at 11:44 pm

      Copy/paste is our friend

      I have no idea why you decided to add that story to my post. Not that I minded, and not that it wasn’t a good story. Just seemed like quite the non-sequitor.

      anyway, can anyone ELSE say that they shagged (or molested) their school’s mascot?


    • Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner
      July 5, 2009 at 11:46 pm

      That raises an interesting question, which is worse: racism, or sexual harassment by furry?


    • Sculptor?!?
      July 5, 2009 at 11:48 pm

      Honestly, you and Magics Johnson should have a weird story duel. I’m not sure who I’d put my money on…


      • Adam
        July 5, 2009 at 11:53 pm

        He would win by far. I have a few downright strange stories, but he’s got a whole truckload

        Also in regards to your love of keepers, I’d like to point you to another American, Brad Friedel


    • MarissaExplainsItAll
      July 5, 2009 at 11:52 pm

      OK, last attempt (of 5 or so, idk, I didn’t count)….what does this have to do w/ racialism? What color was the roadrunner?


      • Adam
        July 5, 2009 at 11:56 pm

        She was black. It doesn’t have any relevance to the story, but when I was trying to think of funny things to reply to your claim it made me remember that.


  • FirstDerivative
    July 5, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    Anyone here see the Hangover?


  • Rob in WI
    July 5, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    Holy fuck, Stu Scott is even more annoying than usual tonight…


    • RonArtestTableLeg
      July 5, 2009 at 11:50 pm

      did you hear him legitimately call Evan Longoria Eva Longoria. That’s where his head is.


      • Rob in WI
        July 5, 2009 at 11:52 pm

        The fucking buzzwords and yelling and catchphrases and shit.

        I think it would be wrong for me to wish throat cancer on the guy. But I’m almost there.


        • RonArtestTableLeg
          July 5, 2009 at 11:56 pm

          It was great those 3 months that knocked Vitale out with his whole throat thing.


  • MarissaExplainsItAll
    July 5, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    Comments are disappearing you guys…


    • Sculptor?!?
      July 5, 2009 at 11:50 pm

      Well, I’m seeing a couple of them jump around, but disappearing? Which ones, and when?


      • MarissaExplainsItAll
        July 5, 2009 at 11:51 pm

        I was trying to reply to Adam, but it has been disappearing.


        • Sculptor?!?
          July 5, 2009 at 11:54 pm

          Aha. They got caught in the spam filter for some reason. I approved the last one (since they were all about the same.). Now I get to figure out what caused them to get caught in there in the first place.


          • RonArtestTableLeg
            July 6, 2009 at 12:24 am

            @ TPP I’m pretty sure the comments disappeared for the last post as well. It says there’s 3 at the top and only one (mine) is showing.


  • Chicago Sometimes
    July 5, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    Hi everybody!

    May I be the trillionth person to say: Whatta match at Centre Court today. We were trying to root of Federer in the break room of the restaurant and wait tables at the same time during brunch this morning/afternoon, with little success. Running back and forth like idiots. We all almost got fired like five times.

    Like the Felicity Huffman character in Sports Night, we comically took the epic length of this match personally: “Why??? Why are you doing this to me??!?!?!?” “THIS GUY WON’T DIE!!!”

    Holy shit that was fun to watch though, and that photo-op with Roger, Borg, Sampras, and Rod Laver? Sent a chill. History in that hallway.


    • Rob in WI
      July 5, 2009 at 11:54 pm

      That was awesome… I DID have to preface every conversation at work with “If you tell me how the Wimbledon final ended, please realize I will stab you in the eye with my pen”… got a little uncomfortable with customers, but they understood.

      And why were you rooting on Fed and not Roddick?


      • Chicago Sometimes
        July 6, 2009 at 12:01 am

        History. I simply and honestly was hoping to see history being made today.

        Again – if it was good enough Pete, Bjorn, and Laver, it was damn sure good enough for me.

        My only beef was with these Peacock Sports morons – maybe I missed it but Laver should’ve had like a 10-minute piece pretty much worshipping him as THE GREATEST EVER PERIOD, instead we get a footnote, what with all these luminaries dropping dead lately, wtf ever happened to giving ‘em their flowers while they yet live??? ‘Some bullshit right there goddammit!

        /end rant, sorry


        • Craig Esherick's Mustache
          July 6, 2009 at 12:07 am

          There probably isn’t enough video of Laver to do a real piece, but yes, he needed more recognition.

          Still, history or not, I wanted to see Andy win. He’s a lot like Andre – except I always rooted for Pete over Andre. This time, I’m always rooting for Andy over Fed. Fed’s got six already, man. Like Andy said – yes, Fed’s loss last year was heartbreaking . . . but he’d already won FIVE. Andy’s loss today is a bit different.


        • Rob in WI
          July 6, 2009 at 12:09 am

          Communist.

          Anyway… I thought the shot of Santana, Bjorn, Laver and then Sampras in the box was awesome, then the shot in the hall was great.

          And I don’t think they undersold Laver’s career any at all. They acknowledged that Laver would have had more if he was playing under modern rules instead of being stuck by turning pro in the non-open era. And lord knows Mac never passes up the opportunity to praise Borg and Laver.


          • Craig Esherick's Mustache
            July 6, 2009 at 12:10 am

            Yeah, but initially, Mac didn’t even mention Laver . . . only Borg, Pete and Fed. It was a little weird.


            • Rob in WI
              July 6, 2009 at 12:14 am

              I may be getting my Mac stories mixed up, but he’s mentioned Laver before, and certainly respects him.

              To be honest, I really like Robinson and Mac’s coverage most of the time.


              • Craig Esherick's Mustache
                July 6, 2009 at 12:22 am

                Oh, I believe that. Which is why I thought it weird it took until a cut-away from Mac’s audio for him to mention Laver.


            • Chicago Sometimes
              July 6, 2009 at 12:15 am

              The kicker was him asking Sampras whom he thought was the best ever, watching him awkwardly hemming and hawwing – with ROD to-the-GODDAMN LAVER standing right there!!! All either had to do was point!

              Better yet, get the hell outta the shot, hand him the mike and give him Face Time ala ATH.

              SO pissed at the Mac right now. NBC can be forgiven, but he knew better.


  • Business_Socks
    July 5, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    Yes Marissa, I have another twitter. It’s BirdmanAndersen. I also have one named Darren_Daulton. I believe there’s a stylepointsblog one though I don’t know who’s updating it. Shakey, I suppose. As for me, no. All the tweets would be ‘posting comments as Ron Artest’ or ‘writing mean spirited things about people I don’t know for my fledgling blog.’


    • Chris Hanson's Axe
      July 6, 2009 at 12:09 am

      I made a Zydrunas Ilgauskas twitter, then realized I wasn’t 12, or funny at all, and haven’t looked at it since. Your Twitter’s the only one I have text me, tho… your ESPN Hood tweets kept making me laugh out loud at work.


  • Orr's Crabapples aka SBPJ
    July 6, 2009 at 12:04 am

    God damn it…I hate the night after a heavy bender, I always have trouble sleeping, barely slept last night and irritatingly awake right now.


  • Rob in WI
    July 6, 2009 at 12:17 am

    Went to an OnDemand of the Office… Michael Scott selling The Michael Scott Paper Company to Dunder Mifflin…

    One of my favorites.


  • Adam
    July 6, 2009 at 12:29 am

    where’d everyone go?


  • Craig Esherick's Mustache
    July 6, 2009 at 12:35 am

    Well, there’s not much going on right now. I could run through my weekend, but that seems self-centered and boring.


    • MarissaExplainsItAll
      July 6, 2009 at 12:37 am

      Lets hear it! Most of us are self centered and boring too!


      • Craig Esherick's Mustache
        July 6, 2009 at 12:49 am

        Well, let’s see.

        Thursday was this girl’s going away party (moving to Bloomington, IN for grad school for math). Went to Green Mill (old-school jazz joint, north part of Chicago; old Capone hangout) for dancing. Except that the dance floor’s the size of a postage stamp and no one there (a) really knows how to dance, even if they really, really think they do and (b) people stand on the floor without even trying to dance. Music was great, but the floor situation was frustrating enough so that a few of us left for a reggae joint. I was in a suit. It was warm, and I was waaaay overdressed and the sore yellow thumb. More room, though. Then, we went to a crappy club in the Viagra Triangle, paid a $20 cover (not worth it), and listened to a horrendous house DJ and made fun of the douchebags. Especially when the DJ played this song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Oqx2GqUvs4). Got to sleep at ~4:30-ish, which was early.

        Friday – went to the beach with sister and her boyfriend. Sister just moved here, b/f visiting for the weekend. Got a girl’s number (really hot girl, dark hair, freckles, nice black bikini, reading The Kite Runner), but it turns out she juuust starting dating someone else (which is what she said on the phone today). Oh well. Then went dancing, then to a party, then had to babysit a drunk girl because (a) a sketchy 40-something dude was trying to take her home in her inebriated state and (b) she needed food. Went to a diner with more people, then drove drunkie home. In bed after sunrise at ~5:30-ish.

        Saturday – slept in, went to a BBQ with sister and boyfriend, stopped briefly at the Drake to find out where the party was, and did one dance (while in jeans and a pullover) with a really hot girl there with her parents (who were on the dance floor already). This being the Drake, everyone else is dressed up. Got her name, but not her number. Oops. Then to drinks with sister/boyfriend/their friend. Then to party in a ridiculous condo with wraparound view of the city (from just north of the river, unobstructed view to the west). Again, had to drive drunkie home – but tonight, she was ADD, not drunkie. Fucking annoying, and didn’t get the “yes, we should leave now, the party’s done” vibe until the sun came up. In bed at 6:00-ish.

        Today – lunch at an Indian place with sister/boyfriend and more of her friends. Boyfriend and her friends start drive back home, sister and I go see Public Enemies. Underwhelming. I drive her home afterwards, and have been lazy at home since.

        As a friend of mine FB-status’d – Circadian Rhythms 3, CEM 0.

        See? Self-centered and boring.


      • Craig Esherick's Mustache
        July 6, 2009 at 12:50 am

        And the spam filter ate the opus. Aarrgghh.


  • Chris Hanson's Axe
    July 6, 2009 at 12:36 am

    I noticed this quote, from Adam, earlier:
    Very true, I can’t remember what comedian said it but it was something like “guys will never tire of seeing boobs, no matter who’s they are”*

    *very terribly paraphrasing, it was funnier too.
    …
    Yeah, the comedian that said that: Ron White.


    • Craig Esherick's Mustache
      July 6, 2009 at 12:37 am

      He’s the one off of the Redneck Kings of Comedy (or whatever it was called) I can tolerate.

      But I prefer Louis C.K.


      • Chris Hanson's Axe
        July 6, 2009 at 12:43 am

        Too many people hear “redneck comedy” (or Blue Collar as its properly called) and get screwed up into hatred of it… I blame Family Guy’s off-comments and Dubya’s 8 years.

        I try to enjoy comedy of all kinds with no prejudice, and I think Ron’s White “Tater Salad” routine is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard (and I’m pretty sure this quote is part of that special). Most of his stuff after that isn’t very good.
        “In Texas, we’re implementing a law where if you commit a certain kind of capital offense, you go right to the front of the line on Death Row. Most states are trying to abolish the Death Penalty… my state’s puttin’ in an express lane.”


        • Craig Esherick's Mustache
          July 6, 2009 at 12:52 am

          Oh, I’ve heard Foxworthy, Engvall, Larry and White’s routines. Foxworthy’s way too damn vanilla. Engvall is derivative vanilla. Larry is just racist, Neanderthal pandering bullshit that’s only not worse than Mencia because it seems Larry wrote it hisself (but it’s as bad as Cook).

          White? White’s funny.


          • Chris Hanson's Axe
            July 6, 2009 at 12:56 am

            I wonder what Larry The Cable Guy sounds like in real life. You know, like if he actually talks like that or not.


            • Craig Esherick's Mustache
              July 6, 2009 at 12:58 am

              I honestly couldn’t care less. Just like I don’t care what Mencia’s like in real life. They’re lazy, unimaginate, derivative, racist unfunny bullshit artists (and a plagiarist in Mencia’s case) that shouldn’t be paid anything.

              The fact that Mencia, Cook and Larry make serious bank give me lots and lots of reason to write off much of the American public as fucking morons.


              • Chris Hanson's Axe
                July 6, 2009 at 1:02 am

                Some of Dane Cook’s stuff gets a laugh out of me. But literally everything out of him post-Retaliation is worthless. And give Mencia some credit; he was calling out Kanye West LONG before it was fashionable.


                • Craig Esherick's Mustache
                  July 6, 2009 at 1:04 am

                  Mencia deserves the least credit. He’s a fucking worthless plagiarist, and it’s been proven on video. He’s not even a real “beaner” and his name isn’t Carlos. Fuck him. If he was calling out Kanye early, there’s the blind squirrel/nut idea, the douchebags know douchebags idea, and finally the Kanye actually has fucking talent so fuck Mencia.


                  • Craig Esherick's Mustache
                    July 6, 2009 at 1:05 am

                    *. . . the Kanye actually has fucking talent so fuck Mencia idea.


                    • Chris Hanson's Axe
                      July 6, 2009 at 1:12 am

                      Ignore the making fun of retards and the shtick, and I think you have a fairly cogent and decently funny argument for why Kanye West is annoying as hell. And I forgot that you are a fan of Kanye so you probably don’t care; so I guess this is for other people.

                      http://www.yikers.com/video_carlos_mencia_destroys_kanye_west.html


                    • Craig Esherick's Mustache
                      July 6, 2009 at 1:14 am

                      Oh, I’m not really a fan of Kanye. I just think he’s got more talent than Mencia. I am also happy to be proven wrong about Kanye (because, as I said, he’s a huge douchebag even if his post-Katrina appearance with Mike Myers was fucking hilarious).


                    • Craig Esherick's Mustache
                      July 6, 2009 at 1:19 am

                      Okay, so “Carlos” is making fun of Kanye’s upbringing (yes, he’s not ghetto) and his hilariously douchebag enormous ego. Fine. His flow still fucking sucks, and he’s using the “de de de” which is just as fucking useless as “git ‘er done.”

                      All that video proves is that Mencia’s staff has some half-decent writers who can do a Weird Al impression. Still a fucking shitstain.


  • RonArtestTableLeg
    July 6, 2009 at 12:37 am

    Stu Scott doesn’t have any kind of musical future, at least if he really sings like that version of “Boom Boom Pow” that he just attempted.


    • Rob in WI
      July 6, 2009 at 12:39 am

      I gave up and switched to last year’s WSOP rerun for the 39020383576th time.

      Which means that I might run the risk of waking up to Mike & Mike in the morning… or First Take or whatever.


    • Chicago Sometimes
      July 6, 2009 at 12:41 am

      Somewhere Fergie just laughs, laughs, adjusts her weave and silicone, does a hit and laughs some more.


    • Chris Hanson's Axe
      July 6, 2009 at 12:44 am

      Did Stu try to copy her swagga? Because I hear she’s on that next shit now.


      • MarissaExplainsItAll
        July 6, 2009 at 12:48 am

        What does that even mean?!


        • Chicago Sometimes
          July 6, 2009 at 12:50 am

          Don’t try to think about it too much or your brain will melt.

          I’m convinced BEP are undercover terrorists, trying to kill us with stupid.


          • MarissaExplainsItAll
            July 6, 2009 at 12:52 am

            That’s why I don’t listen to top 40 radio stations


          • Chris Hanson's Axe
            July 6, 2009 at 12:54 am

            Well, she needed to fit the rhyme scheme. Cough.

            But if she wrote out “Listen, if you really think that you have the musical ability to replicate my acoustic accomplishments you are sorely mistaken, as I am constantly progressing and shall never repeat a past performance or grow stale in my value as an artist and an entertainer” no one would listen.


  • Rob in WI
    July 6, 2009 at 12:48 am

    Well, as exciting as all y’all are, I’m heading out. take care, and catch most of y’all tomorrow.


  • FirstDerivative
    July 6, 2009 at 1:04 am

    Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind.

    Mankind — that word should have new meaning for all of us today.

    We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore.

    We will be united in our common interests.

    Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution — but from annihilation.

    We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist.

    And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:

    “We will not go quietly into the night!

    We will not vanish without a fight!

    We’re going to live on!

    We’re going to survive!”

    Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!” – I love this speech


    • Chris Hanson's Axe
      July 6, 2009 at 1:05 am

      I just ran through a wall.


    • Craig Esherick's Mustache
      July 6, 2009 at 1:05 am

      Too bad they couldn’t get a better actor to deliver it.

      /ducks


      • Chris Hanson's Axe
        July 6, 2009 at 1:14 am

        Isn’t that the beauty of it, though? He’s completely terrible, that’s what’s so great.

        Imagine if a singer with talent sang Green Day’s “Time of Your Life.” No one would care; it wouldn’t be half as great as it is.


        • MarissaExplainsItAll
          July 6, 2009 at 1:17 am

          That was poetry, yet ambiguous. Do you like Green Day? Hate them?


        • Craig Esherick's Mustache
          July 6, 2009 at 1:20 am

          I like Green Day. They’re not the most talented band, and they do get repetitive. But I like them. But I agree – if a better singer sang “Time of Your Life”, it wouldn’t be as good of a song as a whole.


  • Craig Esherick's Mustache
    July 6, 2009 at 1:21 am

    Marissa – Sculptor rescued the opus from the spam filter. But like I said – it’s still self-centered and boring. Happy?


    • MarissaExplainsItAll
      July 6, 2009 at 1:25 am

      Yes… I’m glad you got a girl’s number! My weekend was slightly less exciting.


      • Craig Esherick's Mustache
        July 6, 2009 at 1:38 am

        Heh. Yes, I got her number Friday. Called her today, and got turned down for a first date because she’s been dating a guy and they reached boyfriend-girlfriend status about a week ago. So no joy.


  • MarissaExplainsItAll
    July 6, 2009 at 1:26 am

    Am I the only person who doesn’t like Green Day? I mean, Dookie was a good album, but everything after that is crap imo.


    • FirstDerivative
      July 6, 2009 at 1:35 am

      I really really dug American Idiot and the 21st Century…their mid 90s era was blah


    • FatNakedMoleRat
      July 6, 2009 at 1:37 am

      I disagree with you greatly. I am biased though, they were the first band that I ever saw live. (Around 1992 at Gilman St. in Berkeley. God, I’m old) I think that Insomniac (the one after Dookie) is really good. American Idiot was a very interesting step for them, it was definitely better than Warning has been, that’s for damn sure.


  • Sculptor?!?
    July 6, 2009 at 1:42 am

    Okay gang, I’m out like a light. Refrain from mentioning brands of pecker pills and your comments should evade the spam filter.

    BTW – if The Rookies’ server is not operational by Last Call, it will be hosted by our boys at ATD.

    Later taters.

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