Last Call

by Sculptor?!? on November 16, 2009 at 6:00 pm
65 Comments (Including 17 Conversation)Comments

Whee. Cleaning can be such fun.

sexy maid

Actually, it’s rather distracting – you wind up finding all sorts of crap you’d forgotten about, and you spend time either playing with the stuff, or trying to figure out what possessed you to buy it in the first place.

So, what else can I find to distract me?

  • Bill Belichick stood by his decision to be an arrogant douche. Big surprise.
  • Actually, I’m kinda surprised such an old dude is hip enough to flip the NJ state bird.
  • Yeah. I’m thinking even C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s sausage inna bun isn’t this disgusting.  WTF??? *blorf*

Okay, now that my stomach is empty, at least I won’t be making a mess during the Browns/Stabbies game tonight. Although there’s always a case of the dry-heaves to look forward to. Um, woo?   Last Call is here tonight, as we’re still figuring out a new schedule. Feel free to teach me new swear words folks; if history has taught me anything, it’s that I’ll be fresh out of invective by about halfway through the 1st quarter. The comments are now open…

Put the Glass Down

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Categories: Last Call

This entry was posted on Monday, November 16th, 2009 at 6:00 pm and is filed under Last Call. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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  • dave
    November 16, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    I would like to wax that ass. She can polish my family jewels. I would knock the dust off that. That’s all I got right now.


  • dave
    November 16, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    @Sculptor?!?: Someone has to do the easy lifting.


  • gally
    November 16, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    So I don’t now if you saw my tweet earlier, but I apparently owe the Canadian Federal Government $4000 in back taxes for my business. I registered a business in my name for future endeavors, such as The Gally Blog. I’ve not filed taxes for it because there was literally ,until next month when I get my first Adsense check, 0 income. Because I’ve not filed my 0 income, they estimated that I owe them $4000. There was no contact info to check on this, but rather a form to process my payments. Hip Hip Hooray!


    • dave
      November 16, 2009 at 7:35 pm

      @gally: Are there actual prison’s in Canada or do they drop some where in the middle of the Yukon?


    • gally
      November 16, 2009 at 7:51 pm

      @Sculptor, yes yes it does. @Dave, yes there are prisons here in Canada. Big ones, and the guards even have guns and stuff. By the way, the Yukon is part of Canada but I concur, most people wouldn’t survive there. @Martin, yeah I have to prove that my old site sat there dormant with no ads or content, then prove that I’ve only spent money on my business as opposed to make money.


  • Martin
    November 16, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    So you’re going to have to prove your business didn’t exist? That’s going to be weird. I would think not that difficult in the long run, but anytime a tax revenue organization gets involved, logic goes out the window.


  • RATL
    November 16, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    I only need 48 pts from Ray Rice tonight (bad luck; I scored 101). I can do 1 of 2 things. Watch and scream “score” every time he touches the ball or go and edit a basketball video. I think i’ll be editing.


  • 2 Yellows
    November 16, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    I’ve got another rant brewing, I’m just letting everyone know now.


  • dave
    November 16, 2009 at 7:56 pm

    @gally: Don’t mean to make light of your situation. Just trying to make some humor for you. I hope you get out of it.


  • Sculptor?!?
    November 16, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    Rumour has is the Browns are discussing John Gruden as GM.
    *blorf*
    ’nuff said.


  • MrRedDevil
    November 16, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    What up Fucktards?

    Two things you need to know:

    1. You need to be watching WWII in HD on the History Channel. At least for 1 hour.

    AT LEAST ONE FUCKING HOUR YOU FUCKS.

    2. I’m a white guy, and other than my colorful vocabulary, I’m kinda straight laced. All that being said,

    White Guys: ENOUGH WITH THE FULL SLEEVES OF TATTOOS. IT DOESN’T FUCKING WORK AND YOU LOOK LIKE FUCKING TRASH. IT WORKS ON BLACK PEOPLE AND HISPANIC PEOPLE, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE BIG HAIRY AIDS INFESTED DICK ON THE SKINNY, PALE, PASTY, TWIGS THAT YOU CALL ARMS. I’M TALKING TO YOU BECKHAM!!!

    IF YOU AREN’T A CAREER CRIMINAL OR AN OUTLAW BIKER, THEN KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF.

    I feel better.


    • Sculptor?!?
      November 16, 2009 at 8:19 pm

      Query: how does it “work” on blacks or latins? Frankly, i think it looks rather retarded regardless of skin color. (Bikers, convicts and carnies excepted)


      • MrRedDevil
        November 16, 2009 at 8:21 pm

        I think that if you have any shade of brown in your skin color, then the ink looks ok. But if you’re just a white dude, then it looks turrible.


    • Chicago Sometimes
      November 16, 2009 at 8:25 pm

      Never mind that bollocks, I love seeing them (and the tramp stamps) just for the trash factor. Can’t wait to see how awesome those sleeves when the wrinkles and blueveins hit. The few of them that actually reach that age that is.

      Reminds me of one of the waiters at this gig. Dude has a big-ass tat on either side of his neck, sticking out of his shirt & tie, and wonders why no one takes him seriously. Then again I guess Iverson has to earn a living somehow…

      How ya feel up in here, dong bongos???


    • RonArtestTableLeg
      November 16, 2009 at 9:18 pm

      Tell this to Bill Stull. I was going to interview him for my one thing then i figured. Ah it’s Bill Stull fuck him.


  • Chris Hanson's Axe
    November 16, 2009 at 8:19 pm

    Actually, it’s rather distracting – you wind up finding all sorts of crap you’d forgotten about, and you spend time either playing with the stuff, or trying to figure out what possessed you to buy it in the first place.

    Are you talking about make-up sex, or cleaning?


    • Sculptor?!?
      November 16, 2009 at 8:20 pm

      Cleaning. I’m married, remember?


      • Chicago Sometimes
        November 16, 2009 at 8:29 pm

        Oh that’s right, I almost forgot.

        /refrains from any marriage-sex wisecracks
        //knows what’s good for him

        All that having been said, madam may I say you got some damn fine taste in wimmins.


        • Sculptor?!?
          November 16, 2009 at 8:32 pm

          Pfft. Wisecrack all you want, I couldn’t care.

          And thanks! I could claim it under the auspices of “research”, but truth be told, I’m just a pig. (But at least I’m honest about it.)


  • dave
    November 16, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    As for this shittastic game tonight. The only thing that could make it interesting is if Ray Ray stabs Mangenius, other than that it gonna suck. This is the first time I am glad to be at work for Monday night Football, so there is no chance I might catch a glimpse of this game and go blind from the horror.


  • 2 Yellows
    November 16, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    I’m going out on a limb so you can all make fun now. Browns 16, Ravens 13.


  • Sculptor?!?
    November 16, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Time for a rant.
    To the people of Cleveland. Congratulations, assclowns. your “Brown Out” protest does nothing except punish the players, the stadium employees (vendors) and yourselves. Dipshits, you ALREADY PAID FOR THE FUCKING TICKETS. The owners and management do NOT care; they already have your money, fuckwads. They coudn’t give a shit WHAT you do with the tix after you’ve paid for them. As far as they’re concerned, you can burn your tickets for firestarters or use them to light your cheap ass cigars.
    Fucking morons.

    Okay, I think I *might* feel a little bit better.


    • MrRedDevil
      November 16, 2009 at 8:34 pm

      Doo Doo Night 2009!


    • Chicago Sometimes
      November 16, 2009 at 8:48 pm

      I can understand your frustration Sculpt, but it’s better than, say, a northside baseball squad’s idiot fans throwing a party whether or not the team wins. I personally like when a crowd is passionate enough to show their obvious frustration (except Iggles fans, sometimes they take that shit too far).

      For example, Kornheiser a few weeks ago said he sat in Snyder’s box and saw them folks look visibly shaken by the Skins fans’ SELL THE TEAM chant. See, cuz contrary to popular belief, some of ‘em do care.

      And, yeah, they may have their cash. But I love a warning that they may not have it for long.


  • Rob in WI
    November 16, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    Rewatching that Buster-Tyson fight… I wonder again if Mike was really in any shape to fight that night.


    • 2 Yellows
      November 16, 2009 at 8:37 pm

      The HBO mini-doc about that fight should have been MUCH longer. That’s an untold fantastic story.


      • Rob in WI
        November 16, 2009 at 8:41 pm

        I think we’ll have to wait for many of the principals to be dead and buried before the real stories get out. That said, I wouldn’t be shocked by any of these things:

        1. Tyson was out too late the night before, that morning.
        2. Don King had Tyson… influenced during the fight
        3. Tyson took a dive (unlikliest)


    • RonArtestTableLeg
      November 16, 2009 at 9:21 pm

      I can tell you he was definitely on something the last Lewis fight. Or should I say the “I’m going to fade into Bolivian” fight.


  • Rob in WI
    November 16, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    Browns do… good?


  • Sculptor?!?
    November 16, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    Okay boys, a question for you. I’m trying to come up with a low price item to sell at shows. Something in the 15-25$ range. Would you actually buy a pin or a tie tack if it were of a body part? specifically, either a woman’s ass or boobs?


  • Rob in WI
    November 16, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    The Equalizer died today? Why didn’t anyone tell me this!!!


  • dave
    November 16, 2009 at 9:43 pm

    @Sculptor?!?: How about the vag?


    • Rob in WI
      November 16, 2009 at 9:46 pm

      Vag Badges

      Feel free to use thet name.


    • Sculptor?!?
      November 16, 2009 at 9:47 pm

      For pins, I was planning two different sets of tatas, a backside, a vag, and two different male bits (hey, need something for teh ladiezz). the naughty bits will have a leaf charm hanging over them (removable for the more direct personalities).

      For tie tack sizes, I was pretty much planning a set of tatas, a vag, a backside, and perhaps the schvantz. (hey, ya never know).


  • Sculptor?!?
    November 16, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    Jezus Christ. Can we put Bernie Kosar’s drunk ass out there as QB? I’m betting the team couldn’t do worse. And perhaps they’d do better.


  • Sculptor?!?
    November 16, 2009 at 10:34 pm

    Well, I for one am looking forward to tomorrow, when everyone who has been blaming Horseballs has to admit to me that Quinn is no better (or worse) and that, in fact, the problems stem from the Playbook, the OC, and the Coaching.


  • Rob in WI
    November 16, 2009 at 10:44 pm

    And, now that the Browns are down 5 FGs, it’s time for bed.

    G’nite folks.


  • RATL
    November 16, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    At least we have 24 hours of college basketball to look forward to at midnight.


  • Drunk with Lust
    November 18, 2009 at 7:13 pm

    If you like that Last Call photo, above, look for Tiffany Toth over at Playboy’s Cyber Club — or just search images at Google — for she is one of the hottest, if not the hottest, sexy maid I have came upon in my years of spanking.