Eye Opener – 17 November 2009

Jim Brown wants a word, Mangenius

I’m going to guess that Cleveland Browns fans might have spent most of last night cursing.  Most of the season, actually.  Things are so bad there, the planned protest didn’t even work out.  Brady Quinn was totally pedestrian, but he did manage to throw a block that knocked Terrell Suggs out of the game, and incurred the considerable wrath of Ray Lewis.  The final was 16-0 Ex-Browns over Current Browns, but the only real losers were us.

Join me for the rest of the overnight oversights.

Break it down for me one time.

• NBA winners were Atlanta, Orlando and the Dallas Mavericks (on a game winner by DIRK!).  SHOOT THE GLASS!
• NHL winners were the Islanders, Philadelphia, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Los Angeles and Tampa Bay.  Is anyone else freaked out that the NHL season is already 1/4th over?
• Top 25 NCAA teams were in action last night, and your winners were Kentucky (on a buzzer beater by debuting superstar John Wall – Ailanthus Altissima can breathe deeply once again), Villanova, Duke, UConn and Minnesota.
• The Call was all over the place yesterday.  Why would anyone want to be a professional coach, honestly?
• The Answer was released by the Memphis Grizzlies and is now talking to the Knicks.  I’m not even sure I could come up with a proper joke for this, it’s too surreal.
• Your MLB Rookie of the Year winners were Chris Coughlan, an outfielder for the Florida Marlins, and Andrew Bailey, a closer for the Oakland A’s.  Not winning?  Jose Molina.
• Stephen Jackson was traded from Golden State to Charlotte.  A player wanting out from under Don Nelson?  Shocking.
• Titans owner Bud Adams was fined a quarter of a million dollars for his double-bird salute on Sunday.  Bud Adams is 86 years old.  The words “super classy” leap to mind.
• Larry Johnson will sign with the Bengals today, in a move sure to work out JUST FINE.
• There will be another update on ailing UFC Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar today, because the previous 28 statements weren’t enough, clearly.
• In more good news for people living in Tennessee, the Volunteers football program have dismissed two of the three players accused of armed robbery.  Y’all need to CALM DOWN.
• There will be another update on ailing UFC Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar today, because the previous 28 statements weren’t enough, clearly.
• TiWoo will be an honorary captain for Stanford in this week’s matchup with arch-rival Cal.  He will then destroy all who do not bend to his iron will.  Such is the wrath of TiWoo.

Right, so it’s Tuesday and your mind may start to wander, but focus in.  A few more days to go and we’re at the weekend.  Now, I *think* we’re at Weed’s tonight for Last Call, but we’re still working out the schedule, so bear with us.  I’m sure we’ll make sure you have a nice, warm, safe place to talk about the vagaries of your day tonight, and of course, yell about Bill Belichick.  Since that’s all anyone can seem to do these days.  Sheesh.

Go be awesome.

Raise a Glass

Put the Glass Down

Tags: eye opener, Two Yellows
Categories: Eye Openers

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