Black Friday Eye Opener – 27 November 2009

Black Friday is one of those days that’s so eminently goddamn predictable, it’s scary.  Starts early in the morning when I inevitably get texts from my friends who are online somewhere waiting for a store to open. “OMG LOL ITS SO COLD YOU SHULD B HERE!” and “OMG LOL SOOO MNY PPL”.  This will be followed by the morning news shows interviewing people in these same lines.  The midday lunch news will then show busy shoppers at the mall, and have some interviews with shopkeeps who make comparisons to previous years and are either ridiculously upbeat or uproariously subdued, depending, of course, on what the segment producer wants to see.  Finally, the 6 o’clock news will recycle through all of this and make sure to stress that we all need to go out and spend because it’s just un-American not to, you bastards.  So goddamn predictable.

Did you know there’s college foobaw at noon EST?  The fighting (and still undefeated) Cincinnati Bearcats vs. the Illinois Fighting Leitches (on ABC).  Lots of fighting in that one.  Did you know that Alabammy and Auburnny will get it on at 2:30 PM EST on CBS?  Nebraska-Colorado at 3:30 PM EST on ABC?  Rutgers-Louisville at 11:00 AM EST on ESPN?  The Backyard Brawl at 7:00 PM EST on ESPN2?  Nevada-Boise State at 10:00 PM EST on ESPN2?  Goddamn, that’s a full rich day of college foobaw.  Makes me a happy mofo, I must say.

Okay, monkeys, we’ll dance below.

Lookin’ California, feelin’ Minnesota.

• NFL winners if you missed it somehow were Green Bay, Dallas and the Broncos, who brutalized the New York Giants last night.  I would suspect after all of the Giants whining about traveling two time zones during a short week, next year’s T-Day night game might involve two teams from the same general region.  Quit crying, Tom Coughlin.
• Colt McCoy and the Texas Longhorns defeated their arch-rivals from A&M, 49-39, in a game I probably should have watched instead of that travesty in Denver last night.  They are now 12-0 with only Nebraska in the Big 12 title game standing between them and the BCS Championship game.  Jordan Shipley for Heisman!
• Two NBA contests yesterday and your winners were Orlando and Utah.  A city and a state.  Yeah sure, makes total sense.
• Ottawa and Vancouver were your NHL victors yesterday.  Viva Canada!
• Top 25 NCAA basketball winners were West Virginia, Minnesota (over Butler), Michigan and Clemson.  No word on if the West Virginia victory prompted any couch-burnings ahead of the Backyard Brawl tonight.
• The 99-year old voice of the world champion New York Yankees, the venerable Bob Sheppard, is retiring.  Sadly, not retiring?  Jose Molina.
• Chile were going to be bounced out of the upcoming World Cup over a club issue, but it’s all been sorted and they will be in South Africa next June.  I don’t know what we would have done if Chile hadn’t been there.  Probably enjoyed ourselves greatly.  OOOH BURN
• Your Super Bowl halftime performers?  The Who.  Totally not kidding.  Roger Daltrey will be just shy of 66 when the show goes off.  A quick note about this.  I know everyone is still really nervous after the Janet Jackson nipple thing, but seriously, this spate of oldheads they’ve been running out there MUST STOP NOW.  This is getting really ridiculous now.  Don’t get me wrong, love the Who, always have always will, but STOP IT ALREADY.

Since it was a holiday yesterday, that’s about it.  Not a lot going on overall, but hey, I’m still here, right?  Right.  I’m assuming we’ll be at Style Points tonight for Last Call even though those filthy SOB’s FORGOT US yesterday.  Jerks.  Just kiddin, lads.

No idea who or what might turn up here today as a lot of folks are very busy.  It’s the Christmas season now.  Start being good, because Santa is watching.  Or be naughty, whatever.  He’ll probably still turn up.

Soooo naughty

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Put the Glass Down

Tags: Eye Openers, Two Yellows
Categories: Eye Openers

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