Eye Opener – 8 December 2009

We’re going to do it three times this week, you and I.  Yeah, that gets you excited doesn’t it?  The thought of us doing it three times.  Of course I’m talking about me covering the Eye Opener thrice, what did you think I was talking about?  My GOD, I’m a hacky sonofabitch.  Ah well.  I know we have the second part of the interview with the Food Court Lunch crew today.  How come no one ever asks to interview ME, huh?  I’m a HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL blogger, goddammit.  I can quote Star Wars, the Simpsons and Arrested Development LIKE THAT.

I’ll shut up.  Click “read more” because you know you need to.

My head hurts, my feet stinks and I don’t love Jesus.

• Despite 310 (!) combined penalty yards, the Packers outlasted the Ravens 27-14 last night in Monday Night Football.  Gru-dog and Jaws yelled a lot, and it was cold.  That’s as nice as I can get this morning about that travesty.
• The Nuggets spoiled the Answer’s re-debut in Philadelphia last night, and other NBA winners included New York, Okie City and Utah.  (Hacky joke alert starting…NOW!) Maybe some PRACTICE would have helped!
• NHL winners included New Jersey, Toronto, Les Habitants, Carolina, Washington, Edmonton, Colorado, Phoenix and Los Angeles.  I feel so disconnected from the NHL right now, it’s sort of sad.  It never even calls me any more, or e-mails.
• Since I’m posting this early in the morning, I’m sure more details will emerge, but apparently someone may or may not have been taken from the Woods house early this morning on “advanced life support” and it was a female.  Yeah.
• Jimmy Clausen and Golden Tate didn’t bother to see who the new coach will be in South Bend as both declared for the NFL yesterday.  The coaching search is a media-fueled circus as Brian Kelly spent all day talking about it while saying essentially nothing, and Jim Harbaugh firmly denied any contact or interest.  Whatevs.
• Whitey Herzog used his platform after being elected to the Baseball HOF by the Vets Committee to call out Mark McGwire on steroids.  Super.  Because Whitey wasn’t a drinker or anything.  In more Cardinals news, they signed the Sweatiest Man in History, Brad Penny.
• Danica Patrick will sign to drive a part-time schedule in the Nationwide series with JR Motorsports, a group owned jointly by Rick Hendrick and Dale Earnhardt Jr.   I’m excited for her first race at Bristol since she just loves getting hit so much.
• There are Champions League matches today and tomorrow.  These are the final Group Stage matches, so after Wednesday’s matches are complete, we’ll know who the final 16 sides are.
• NCAA Basketball Top 25 winners last night included Texas, Michigan State and Texas A&M.  I feel like Tom Izzo is somehow under-rated, but maybe that’s just me.
• Recently-named Heisman finalist Ndamukong Suh won hardware yesterday in advance of Sunday’s activities, picking up the Bronko Nagurski trophy as the country’s best defensive player.  Plus he has the coolest name EVER.

That’s it.  So today, as I said, we have the Food Court Lunch Part Deux and Last Call moves to the Sportress.  I’ll be lurking on twitter (@2yellows) during the Champions League matches.  If you think that’s a ploy for followers, you couldn’t be more right.  I’m a filthy filthy whore.

Now, we’re in that weird area just between Thanksgiving and Christmas and the pressure is ratcheting up.  I feel like we can still make fun of Tim Tebow.  With that said, why not some photoshop fun, right?  Have a good day and try and get THIS out of your head.

Tags: Eye Openers, Two Yellows
Categories: Eye Openers

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 at 7:00 am and is filed under Eye Openers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.