Eye Opener/Liquid Lunch/Pre-Last Call Whatever: SNOWVECHKIN!!!!!

Buenos dias! Looks like all the usual staff’s computers are covered in snow. Except for here in Chicago. Oh, the irony! Well, I can’t post any snowy music for you because I don’t have the editorial privileges, but at least we can have a place for comment for the next couple hours.

There's no Dax Shepard in this dojo.

- So, last night’s NHL winners are: Washington (13 in a row), the increasingly Kovalchuk-y Devils, Washington, Carolina, Calgary, Phoenix (if you count shootouts as wins), and Washington.

- Last night’s NBA winners are: Boston, Washington, Indiana, Milliewaukay, Philly, ATL, Houston, Minnesota, Phoenix, and Denver.

- Michael Irvin filed a countersuit against the woman who sued him for rape. His defense is that he was making out with Jeff Pearlman at the time. Seriously, have you read Boys Will Be Boys?

- Today, Georgetown beat the fuck out of Villanova. If the two teams meet in the Big East Tournament, Nova coach Jay Wright will dress his team in South Florida jerseys.

- St. Johns lost to West Virginia, which is the only way I remember they’re actually in D1.

- Dwight Freeney may or may not play tomorrow. Also, an anvil may or may not fall on me this evening.

- Urge Overkill’s “Saturation” totally holds up.

- It’s Saturday, which means someone’s fighting in MMA tonight. Not counting Dana White slapping them around backstage.

Everywhere you look, everyone is preparing for tomorrow. The Saints are practicing their integral “Sieve” defensive formation. The Colts are practicing their “What the Fuck Are You Talking About?” running play. Fuse is scrounging up money to order a hooker that will call him “Dax.” Luke Wilson is preparing for his bravura tour-de-force performance in the most boring AT&T commercial of all time. The Who is preparing to not play “Substitute.” Adam is preparing to not write anything for The Phoenix Pub. Sidney Crosby is preparing for sex with a pig by buying condoms. What a responsible, all-Canadian boy. Don Cherry is so proud!

Now, in the words of Michael Kuhl, “Get the fuck out of here! Go write shit!”

Raise a Glass

Put the Glass Down

Tags: Dwight Freeney, Georgetown, late eye opener, Michael Irvin, old king clancy, Snowvechkin, STFU Luke Wilson, Super Bowl, Washington Capitals
Categories: Eye Openers, Liquid Lunch

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 6th, 2010 at 4:10 pm and is filed under Eye Openers, Liquid Lunch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.