Eye Opener: Sunday, February 7th

(door flies open) /pays residual to KSK. To quote one of my favorite Australian jokes, Smee again, Old King Clancy! Ghan get fucked!

It actually says, "I Brake for Wookiees." That's the way to rock a sci-fi convention.

- Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith (Jeff Pearlman says he’s a dick), Rickey Jackson, Russ Grimm (w00t!), John Randle (watch out, chickens!), Dick LeBeau, and Floyd Little have been elected to the NFL Hall of Fame. More waiting for Cris Carter, Richard Dent, and Tim Brown.

- The Maple Leafs, of all teams, ended Ottawa’s 11-game winning streak. Yesterday’s other NHL winners are: Chicago, San Jose, Montreal, Vancouver (if shootouts count as wins), LA, Carolina, Columbus, the Rangers, Dallas, Tampa, ATL, Minnesota, and Colorado.

- In Top 25 college hoops action, as mentioned yesterday, #8 Georgetown beat #2 Villanova at home, which isn’t really an upset. Illinois beat #5 Michigan St., whose best player is injured. #10 and wildly overrated Texas lost to Oklahoma. UNLV beat #12 BYU. Richmond stomped #17 Temple. The Fightin’ Ugas beat #20 Vanderbilt. And Texas A&M beat #24 Baylor. The rest of the Top 25 in action won.

- NBA winners: Cleveland, Detroit, New Orleans, Minnesota, Chicago, Philly, Milleywaukay, Utah, the Lakers, San Antonio, and OKC (naturally. Actually, I’m a Sonics fan so I have no love for that team).

- Danica Patrick finished 6th in her first ARCA race, which from what I can tell is like NASCARs single-A. Amazingly enough, she drove with her clothes on.

- Warren Sapp charged with domestic battery. Provisionally suspended by NFL Network.

- The Bengals’ Rey Maualuga is headed to rehab. Plenty of time to air-hump Erin Andrews in there.

- Surprisingly enough, Jerome Bettis is not from New Orleans, Indianapolis, or Miami.

- Chris Berman filed a motion with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to extend the wait time between the Championships and the Super Bowl to a month, just like in college football, so he’ll have more time to troll for cooze in warm weather skankvilles.

For those of you headed to church this morning, take some time to ponder this question. For those of you looking for a live blog this evening, I don’t know yet, but Sculptor says check the Last Call bumper. As for the rest of us, let’s settle in for the big game. And by that, I mean Caps-Penguins. What did you think I meant?

Photo courtesy DC Sports Bog. Also, hai Julian!

Photo courtesy DC Sports Bog

Photo courtesy Japers Rink

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Tags: Danica Patrick, Emmitt Smith, eye opener, Jerry Rice, Kristen Bell is hot, old king clancy, pittsburgh penguins, Rey Maualuga, sidney crosby, Snowvechkin, Super Bowl, Washington Capitals
Categories: Eye Openers

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