Eye Opener – 9 February 2010

by Two Yellows on February 9, 2010 at 8:19 am
9 Comments (Including 4 Conversation)Comments
The lovely Mrs. Roddick is on the cover this year

The lovely Mrs. Roddick is on the cover this year

While the East Coast braces for Snowmageddon 3:  The Bullshittery, the sports world marches merrily on.  Thus, we come to the time where I give you pithy observations on the overnight events, you read them and chuckle, make a comment or two, and then move on.  The circle is now complete.

  • Just three NBA contests last night and your winners were Orlando, Dallas and the Lakers.  Apparently this is the time of the season where Vince Carter decides to show up and contribute, because in just 38 minutes of action last night, he dropped the following on the Hornets: 48-7-2 with only two turnovers.  My goodness.  LeBron, the floor is yours.
  • There were five NHL contests as the league winds down towards the Olympic break, and your winners were San Jose, Philadelphia, Colorado, Phoenix and Anaheim.  The Olympic hockey tournament begins a week from today and the league shuts down after a game in Edmonton this Sunday night.  Were you aware?  Well, you are now.
  • There were four top 25 NCAA men’s hoops games last night, and two were titanic.  #1 Kansas defeated #14 Texas somewhat easily, while #5 Villanova eased past #4 West Virginia.  #15 Butler and #23 Pitt were also winners.  On the ladies side, #5 Tennessee defeated #22 Vanderbilt, #6 Duke ran past #15 North Carolina and #24 Virgina beat Maryland.  Business is about to pick up.
  • Shockingly, Boston College defeated Boston University to win the prestigious Beanpot tournament in college hockey.  Third place went to Northeastern.  I can’t believe the team from Atlanta didn’t make it, it’s such a hockey hotbed down there.
  • If only they’d known about the impending Snowmageddon, the stupid Winter Olympics could have been held in lovely Camden, NJ.  But NO, you just had to have them in ridiculously warm Vancouver, where they have to MAKE snow.  Fools.  Opening ceremonies are Friday, by the way.  Set your DVR’s accordingly.
  • For the footy fans amongst us, there’s a full slate of Barclay’s Premier League matches over the next two days.  The top two teams, Manchester United and Chelsea, have rather difficult fixtures tomorrow, so we’ll see who’s the top dog by Wednesday evening.  I dislike mid-week league contests.  I enjoy them on the weekends when I don’t have to figure out a way to sneak out of work.  A man can only have so many doctor’s appointments before they start to wonder about this supposed “foot issue”.
  • Your Super Bowl post-coital aggregate:  The Saints want to repeat next season, the game beat the M*A*S*H finale as the most-watched television show in history, the Colts were installed as next year’s early favorites by Vegas, and the goodwill tour by Breesus took him to Letterman and Disney World yesterday.
  • Everyone’s favourite diminutive GoDaddy girl will make her Nationwide Series debut at this weekend’s race at Daytona.
  • Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett threw a strop after the Super Bowl, but not because Hank fucked up the crucial onside kick to start the second half.  She didn’t want her precious newborn’s picture taken.  Oh, Hank.  Good luck, man.
  • Chinese New Year is Sunday, and this is the Year of the Tiger.  Unfortunately, they predict that our good buddy and sex-addict TiWoo will not bounce back so quickly.
  • The First Lady is going to tackle childhood obesity with the destructive force of ten thousand suns.  Ain’t nobody harder than Michelle Obama, goddamit.

Okay, that’s it, head out to your various Tuesday events.  Batten down, East Coasters, and the rest of you, I don’t want to hear any giggling.  Scoot.

Put the Glass Down

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  • Sculptor?!?
    February 9, 2010 at 11:04 am

    A man can only have so many doctor’s appointments before they start to wonder about this supposed “foot issue”.
    Then don’t lie, tell them you have ‘anal glaucoma’.

    And even if I *am* an East Coaster, I’m not giggling. I’m sniggering. there’s a big difference.


  • Rob in WI
    February 9, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    So, I’ll admit to drinking pretty steadily from Saturday morning through last night. Just enough to keep a goood feeling going. But…

    They’re building a statue of Bud Selig at Miller Park?

    What. The . Fuck.


  • Martin
    February 9, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    So ya know when you have those sports watching get togethers for close friends, but not like Super Bowl Sunday, just a regular game but getting the whole old time crew together? You worked on it for a month finding the right day and time where no kids had games, or spouses had issues, it’s gonna be great. Then one of the numbnuts always brings a date/someone who has no clue or isn’t interested. Ya last night was one of those nights.

    Got our old group of hockey fans together to watch the Kings v Ducks, and fuck nut brings a date. Two problems. 1- it was at my house. Seating had been set up, and seriously, every chair and sofa spot were being used before she showed. We made him stand the whole time, and he whined like a 6 week old puppy. 2- We were making steaks. One steak per person…there are no extra steaks for unannounced visitors….Oh even better, she’s a vegetarian. Yeah, I got a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats, a PB&J, or a provolone cheese sandwich, you make the call.

    “Why are we watching hockey?” was soon followed by “Do they have better sticks then our team?” Well after that painful night and bad loss to the Ducks, at least we have a new catch phrase. “Do they have better sticks?”

    So folks, think of the kittens, please don’t bring extra humanoid baggage along to those rare occasion get togethers. It’ll keep your host from wanting to strangle you.


    • RATL
      February 9, 2010 at 4:40 pm

      I had a similar situation last year. My three roommates decided to have a super bowl party at our house and not tell me. I didn’t figure out they were having it until that afternoon when i saw all the beer and food in our kitchen. I had already made plans to watch the games with really fans that actually share a similar interest in football rather than my one roommate (that i knew was going to get ridiculously drunk) and a bunch of girls that don’t watch football and dorks from his engineering frat. My one friend even called me and asked if i was at my house and he was shocked to know i wasn’t. I had much more fun my way.


  • RATL
    February 9, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    I’m incredibly bored. Although I should probably use this day off to finish my homework. I wouldn’t mind tomorrow off too though…


  • Drunk with Lust
    February 9, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    Brooklyn Decker is quite a catch, but I miss Melissa Keller. She did one Swimsuit ish, 2003, then vanished… If not from modelling, then SI at least.

    Now, I has a sad, thinking about this.