Eye Opener 10 May 2010

Hey guys, new guy making an appearance today. His name is Smitty, and be nice to him, Ok. I’ll be taking an exam between 1-430, but if you’re mean I’ll play banhammer Monday. (Lies, haze him as you will) – FD

Last night, national sports fans saw some gruesome images on their television. Steve Nash channeled the inner Canadian in him and suffered one of the more disgusting injuries we’ve seen in quite some time.

One disgusting eye, nine assists and 20 points later, Steve Nash helped the Suns sweep the Spurs to propel Phoenix into the Western Conference Finals for the first time since 2006. Of course, the one eyed monster didn’t spit up a win all by himself; he had some help from his friend Amare Stoudemire, who posted 29 points.

Suns 107, Spurs 101

For the 19^th time in MLB history, a perfect game was thrown. A-Rod’s pseudo nemesis Dallas Braden kept Rays base runners in front of first base all afternoon in a 4-0 Oakland win. Braden’s grandmother even jumped in and said, “Stick it, A-Rod” in a post game interview. A-Rod probably wouldn’t be interested, as Peggy Lindsey, the foxy 90-year-old grandmother of Braden doesn’t possess the qualities in a person A-Rod prefers, most notably, an Adam’s apple.

Now the weirdest thing was the reaction of Yankee fans following this rare feat. Twitter and Facebook were abuzz with putdowns saying a perfect game is no big deal. Jesus guys, let it go. If he’s such a nobody, why are Yankee fans rushing to put this guy down? Shouldn’t you be worried about the blowout in Beantown that happened last night? To be fair, I don’t like the guy either. Anyone who is over the age of 18 and says, “We don’t do much talking in the 209”, referring to the area code he was from, is probably not a person I’d invite to my birthday party.

Athletics 4, Rays 0

The Yankees, after looking unbeatable for the first two games against Boston, didn’t look as comfortable in Fenway as they have previously. On national television, the Sox pounded the Yanks 9-3.

Rajon Rondo, welcome to the party. It seems as if it were only yesterday that the few Nets fans on the planet were discussing how it would be a terrible move to trade Devin Harris for Rajon Rondo. Open mouth, insert foot. Rondo’s triple double led the Celtics to a 97-87 victory. Rondo outscored, outrebounded and outassisted LeBron James in the victory. Now, queue the ESPN personalities to talk about how LeBron will have some special “look in his eyes” for the next game.

Celtics 97, Cavs 87

Finally, the Canucks beat the Blackhawks 4-1, to force a Game 6 on Tuesday on Versus. Though as they say, if a team clinches a series on Versus, do they really get to advance?

Happy Monday everybody. Hope your mother appreciated your card you mailed in. Mine didn’t.

Tags: eye opener, nba, new guy, Smitty, Versus is silly
Categories: Eye Openers

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