Eye Opener: Saturday, September 4 — Nyjer, Please Edition
Saturday, September 4th, 2010Damn, that sounds like an alarm clock of some sort. Time to get up and not read. So, bench-clearing fights are kinda hilarious. But have you ever kinda wanted your team to lose one? That’s the situation I was in Wednesday night during the Nationals-Marlins game, and apparently, the Nationals may have felt the same way. Before we check out the video, how about a small recap of the week in which centerfielder/moron Nyjer Morgan finally went all in in terms of being Milton Bradley Lite. Now the guy was already appealing a 7-game suspension for throwing a ball at a fan in Philly (which may or may not have been the result of Philly fans’ inability to catch, but if it’s 7 games, there’s probably something going on). Then last Saturday, Nationals (bad) manager Jim Riggleman took time out from misusing reliever Tyler Clippard to the point of probably jeopardizing his career to move Morgan from leadoff down to 8th. Not a bad place for a guy hitting .250 with no power. Nyjer Morgan was so butt-hurt by this move that he decided the take it out on the St. Louis Fightin’ Glenn Becks’ backup catcher by intentionally missing home plate and elbowing him. A bush-league play to say the least that resulted in his getting called out and then benched the next game by Riggleman. Which of course lead to massive whining in the papers. Yes, we have a diva wide receiver on our hands, but at least Terrell Owens is actually good. Anyway, Njyer celebrated his return to the lineup by A) sucking, B) cursing out a Marlins fan, which is like cursing out a unicorn since they don’t exist, and C) running over Marlins’ catch Brett Hayes, likely putting him out for the rest of the year. OK, you’re gonna run over the catcher once in a while, but you’re not getting the benefit of the doubt when you tried a Macho Man Randy Savage elbow on a catcher a few days before. Not to mention, a good evasive slide would have scored the go-ahead run for the Nationals. He likely also ran over the catcher to disguise that he doesn’t know an evasive slide because he’s fundamentally incompetent. So the revenge-seeking Marlins throw at him once. He steals two bases down 10 runs, which I’ll get two later. And the Marlins, who are not blameless in this incident, throw at him again. Morgan charges the mound, which for a guy already appealing a suspension is retarded, unless he’s showing a deep-seated desire not to play baseball (which is probably the best thing he could do for the team. Update: Despite getting an additional 8 games, he was inexplicably in the lineup last night, which helps explain why they lost). As he charges the mound, Marlins’ first baseman Gaby Sanchez throws a John Bradshaw Layfield “Clothesline From Hell,” (which, coincidentally is the only move that scrub knew) and put Nyjer on his ass. The whole Marlins team collective beat the shit out of him for a while and then the Nationals were like, “Shit, I guess we gotta go do something.” But their reticence says about all you need to know about how they feel about Morgan’s act. Team leader Ryan Zimmerman said, “He still has a bit to learn about baseball,” and that he’d already talked to him earlier in the week about cutting this shit out. And of course, in typical drama queen fashion, Morgan gestured to the crowd indicating this really was all about him and he was the man. Because he really thinks he is. A little more on this situation after the jump. Now watch the video.
So USA Soccer decided that “better the devil you know” was the best strategy they could come up with, and every soccer blogger lost their collective minds last night. The funny thing is, all I hear is complaint after complaint, and while I know I have come out and said that it was time to cut ties with Bob, I freely admitted that I didn’t have a plan for a replacement, just an idea that there needs to be a complete overhaul of USA Soccer from the ground floor up. I advocated a czar-like position and hey, if you want to give it to Jurgen Klinsmann or whomever, fine, have at it. Bob or Klinsmann or you or me are only going to succeed as manager of the national team if and when complete and total change to the approach of bedding in players happens. Bottom line, end of story. If it’s just change for change’s sake to bring in someone else, who gives a shit? You’ll still pull off the occasional upset or lose to Trinidad and Tobago, and everyone will go nuts in one direction or the other, but you’re still just treading water ultimately. So Bob gets to stay until Brazil 2014. Excellent. I’ll make the prediction now that Landon Donovan, Tim Howard, Carlos Bocanegra, Oguchi Onyewu, the Jonathons, and the whole crew from South Africa will probably make up most of your squad for Brazil. And you will maybe get out of the group stage AGAIN, and you will lose (unless you get a miracle draw) in the Round of 16 AGAIN. This is like running a marathon on a treadmill with these people at USA Soccer. You run a long goddam way but ultimately, you’re not getting anywhere.
