Before I shunt you off to The Gally Blog for tonight’s Last Call, I want to quiz the three of you who remain: Since (and I’m being honest here) many authors who used to write haven’t come back (depsite saying they would), a handful of writers and commenters disappeared with no notice, and Real Life taking its toll on a significant portion of the remaining faithful, I’d like to know from you who remain whether it’s worth continuing to gather together here. Here’s two options:

• Should we close the  Pub permanently?
• Should we cut back to only a few days a week? If so, which days to keep?

Vote in the comments section.If you have another option(s) or idea(s), by all means, shout out in the comments as well.  After you’ve done your civic duty, head off to The Gally Blog.

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Who’s going to celebrate Labor Day with me? Well, you might just have to find out after the jump.

Those are not spirit fingers. THESE are spirit fingers!

Watch some baseball. Or football. Or Veronica Mars. And don’t forget to join The Gally Blog’s Pigskin Pick’Em (with spread). We would have known about it sooner if their layout weren’t so excruciating. Cheers, horse-fuckers.

Since lecoqsportif brought it up, I’d like to take a moment to mention Will Leitch’s defense of LaRussa and Pujols. At the risk of committing blasphemy, while I loved his work as editor of DS, even Leitch is capable of the more than occasional epic fail. For instance, his argument about rooting for teams that change cities in “God Save The Fan.” Hell, that entire book was way underwritten, though it is possible that they moved up the deadline on him due to DS’s popularity. Also, whatever that emeritus column was about The Most Important Things of the Week or whatnot. And his choice in best friends. Anyway, Leitch essentially argues that LaRussa is so single-minded about baseball that he had no

This fine feathered friend is intrigued by Leitch's argument and wishes to subscribe to his newsletter.

idea what he was doing. And he knows this because LaRussa didn’t remember who he was or read his book (which looks crappy, by the way). Pujols, by proxy, also didn’t know what he was doing because he’s also single-minded about baseball, although there’s no egotistical story involved or proof. To quote the principal in “Billy Madison,” Mr. Leitch, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. First of all, LaRussa has publicly supported the Arizona immigration law. During baseball season. I think it’s pretty safe to say he may be on board with Glenn Beck to some extent. And both entities have these things called agents and publicists, with whom they likely talked and who said, “You realize the implications here, n’est-ce pas?” So Leitch’s only proof of his theory is that he was hurt that LaRussa didn’t know who he was. Dare I say that’s more than a bit of an egotistical streak there, Emeritus? It almost sounds like something that would come from … well, I’m not saying that maybe Leitch and Daulerio are actually Ed Norton in “Fight Club,” but if the crew cut fits. Commenter “RBS,” said it best when he/she said: [This column] reminds me of the mental gymnastics one goes through in those final days of believing in Santa Claus.”

So Leitch used magical thinking to try to explain away the idea that some of his beloved Cardinals may not have the same political views as he does. (Now I’m morbidly curious to read his reviews of bad Woody Allen movies). But why? Is it so bad if LaRussa and Pujols are Republicans and want to publicly identify as such? Absolutely not. And while I’m cringing while I say it because of how I feel about Glenn Beck’s hatemongering, good for them for doing it.

Regardless of whether or not a player or manager’s political beliefs are aligned with yours, they have to right to express them. To disagree with them is one thing, but to criticize their right to expression takes us right back to the issue I brought up when discussing LeBron James and why fans and media are so invested in these public figures being who them want them to be rather than who they are. Why can’t a player be political? They have the right to manage their image however they want. The irony being that huge mega-stars such as Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods have often been criticized for not using their status to make powerful statements. (MJ’s famous defense was, “Republicans buy shoes too,” which says a lot about him regardless of politics. And by the way, I wouldn’t want that douche on my team politically anyway, not that my “side” isn’t full of douches already. Both sides are). While at the same time, the few athletes who do, but many upon many of the actors and musicians who express their political beliefs are criticized with the argument, “What gives you the right to use your open

Where it's at! He's got no turntables and a microphone!

microphone to make political statements? We pay you to act or sing. Act, monkey! Sing, slave! Hit the ball, automaton!” Hey, does your neighbor have the right to put an Obama or a Palin sign on his front lawn? Then Sean Penn or Eddie Vedder or the Dixie Chicks or Billy Bob Thornton or Toby Keith has the right to express their opinions too. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. Or like their work.

Oh, but won’t someone please think of the children! OK, I will. (For the record, I had a student last year that worshipped Pujols and was very politically-minded and I’d love his take on this). I don’t see how Tony LaRussa and Albert Pujols being proud Republicans hurts children. Admittedly, the mental picture of tons of little Pujols fans rushing home to watch Glenn Beck because Albert told them to is both terrifying and hysterical. And is also highly unlikely. For about your first ten years, your “political beliefs” are essentially parroting what you hear from your parents. Around the fifth grade or so, more outward curiosity starts to kick in and you start to have more discourse with your peers and it can be fascinating. I watched two 5^th-graders, a serious Catholic and a budding Atheist, have a religious discussion and my co-leader was giving me the eye and I said that I’d step in if it got out of control, but I wanted to see where they went with it and if they could work it out themselves. Our Catholic, who was a very passionate guy, got to, “Hey, you may not agree with me, but this works for me,” which was coincidentally also the message of the South Park Mormon episode. Anyway, it was one of my vivid happy memories. Point being that kids can think for themselves and make up their own mind how they feel about their athletic heroes’ politics. And if an athlete’s political stance spurs a kid’s interest in the political system, I can’t see why that’s a bad thing. Chances are, they probably won’t care too much. I have no idea where my favorite athletes growing up – Kelly Miller, Cal Ripken, and Darrell Green – stood politically. If I’d found out they were Republicans, I probably would say, “Well, I don’t agree with them politically, but I hope they kill the fuck out of some penalties/get some clutch hits/cover the shit out of some guys.” At the very least, Darrell Green is deeply religious and I’m an atheist. I still respect his devotion to his religion even if I don’t subscribe to it. A lot of your favorite athletes probably don’t agree with you politically, but does that change your admiration for the way they play the game? It’s up to you.

Charles Barkley famously said, “I am not a role model and athletes aren’t role models.” I hope athletes want to be role models, but that’s really up to them. But I believe most of being a role model as an athlete is apolitical. You respect your family. You respect the game. You respect your teammates. You respect your opponents. You respect the fans. You respect the community you play in. You take time out to sign autographs for kids (screw the adults who are just going on eBay). And you respect the fact that you make a ton of

It's actually Sean Hannity in the Fredbird suit.

money by doing charity work and giving back to your community and to what’s important to you. If you do that, I hope kids look up to you, regardless of who you vote for. It’s not a deal-breaker in being a good person. I have friends and family who are Republicans. We may not agree politically, but I respect their right to have their opinions as long as they’re not dicks about it. And vice versa, I hope.

Athletes should absolutely have the right to express themselves politically. And how we react to this knowledge is up to us. How much do I care about an athlete’s politics? Depends on the athlete and what day you ask me. I can’t say I’ve never told a guy in a Curt Schilling, a VERY outspoken Republican, t-shirt that his “favorite player is a Nazi.” While I was sober. Not one of my finer moments. I also can’t stand Curt Schilling, so his politics are just one more strike against him. Other players who campaign for Republicans, I probably don’t care. I also booed former Washington National Ryan Church after he said he thought Jews were going to hell. I took that as a big deal. A lot of other fans didn’t and said he was making an ignorant statement and it shouldn’t be taken seriously. He made a choice to say it. I made a choice to dislike him. Sure, I may gain a slight bit more admiration for a player if I find out we have something in common politically. But if he can’t hit in the clutch, I want his ass on the bench. Did I lose a little respect for Pujols given the racial implications of Beck’s rally? Maybe. But I’m not entitled to be making race traitor judgments. I just disagree with his decision. It’s his decision to make. It’s his identity to express. It’s his and LaRussa’s right to be themselves. And how we react to it is up to us.

Oh, and by the way, I’m not really a Democrat. I’m actually a cartoon monarchist.

Have a philharmonical Sunday, you Glenn Beck bukkake-ites! Feel free to discuss this or any of the sporting events that may have taken place yesterday since I wrote this on Thursday. And remember, it’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here. I gotta send him back to the South Pole.

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Sure, I know I posted that a week ago. But do I look like one to argue with a shark? Also, it’s still making me laugh. I think I may have to post this whenever I get pinch-hitting LC duties.

Anyway, lots of horrendously boring college football games happened today. And that’s not my CFB apathy talking. I mean the games were legitimately boring. Except for Jacksonville St. beating Ole Miss, which no one outside of the state of Mississippi could watch, no doubt. Also, help me try to convince A-A (whose Kentucky Wildcats won, thus putting themselves one step closer to the Music City Bowl) to write CFB for us.

Hmm, what attractive women am I going to post in a frustratingly (for you) classy ensemble of clothing? Well, hit the jump. We’re gonna try to double our comments from this morning!

Looks like Kristin Proctor, from Season 2 of “The Wire.” She wasn’t in it very much, but she was certainly memorable. And by that I mean crazy hot with amazing boobs. And she hasn’t really been in anything else, which is really a shame. Then again, it’s a shame how many actors that actually did have major roles from “The Wire” haven’t been in anything else. I was all fired up that Larry Gilliard Jr. (D’Angelo) was in an episode of “Friday Night Lights,” but he only had like 3 lines. Dude can act his ass off.

Additionally, if you know why the Pub Twitter doesn’t like to acknowledge when I post things, give it some religion before I curbstomp that useless Linkin Park-loving hunk of scrap.

Anyway, feel free to comment about whatever you wish. Someone might read it and you might find true love. You never know.

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Now for a few more Nyjer Morgan vs. Marlins thoughts as well as yesterday/today’s news and comment:

- In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve been a Nyjer Morgan hater since the Nationals traded for him, when I described him as “a slightly better Nook Logan or a worse Juan Pierre.” Throw all that shit above out the window; his worst offense is that he sucks at baseball. Even before all this shit, he threw a glove-spiking temper tantrum after missing a ball, allowing the Orioles’ Adam Jones an inside-the-park home run in the funniest play I’ve seen in years. He has the exact same lack of instincts as Alfonso Soriano without the power. Dude’s maxing out at .250 with the lowest OPS in the league. He’s fast, but with no instincts, he gets thrown out and picked off more times that I’ve written total columns

All the really shitty players throw your hands up!! All the really shitty players make noise!!

for the Pub. Now on top of that, he’s an even crazier douche than already thought. As we’ve seen with players like Manny Ramirez, who’s flat out quit on two teams and is now embraced with open arms by the White Sox, you apparently can be a douche if you’re good. But if you’re a tool and you suck, get the fuck out!

- On to the Marlins, who said they actually didn’t throw at Morgan because of his hit on Brett Hayes. Rather the first time was for the Cardinals catcher. Really? How about concentrating on your own team and letting the Fightin’ Glenn Becks handle their own shit. Unless LaRussa paid them off, which I could totally see. Fucking lackeys! And the second time was because Morgan stole 2 bases after being hit the first time while the Nationals were down by 10. While the Marlins weren’t holding him on. Now many have said that Morgan didn’t care about the score and did it as “revenge.” Which is dumb, but so is he. However, if you’re down by 10 and you’re fast and the Marlins aren’t holding you on, what’s a good way to get down by less than 10? Steal some bases and get closer to scoring. The Marlins claim it’s an unwritten rule that you don’t steal down by 10? I don’t see a mercy rule in the major leagues. There’s an unwritten rule saying the Nationals should roll over and take it in the ass? Fuck that! As Herman Edwards said, you play to win the game! If you don’t want a guy with zero baserunning instincts trying to score on you, throw his ass out. The whole rest of the league’s done it. Fuck off, Marlins! You’re douchey too.

- Now we move from a quintessential loser like Nyjer Morgan to some actual winners, if only for one day. These six American League teams (since Boston and the White Sox got rained out) put yet another notch in their win column, before all going out and putting several in their bedposts: the Yankees, Tampa (new song, yay!), Detroit, Minnesota, Seattle, and Oakland.

- And these 8 National League teams made like “Modern Family” at the Emmy Awards (I hate awards, but that one was well-deserved): the Cubs, Philly, Florida (who likely

Oregon State RB Jacquizz Rogers. That just sounds dirty.

enacted payback on the Braves for whatever the ATL did to the Cardinals), Pittsburgh, the STL Fightin’ Glenn Becks, Arizona, the Dodgers, and Colorado.

- Last week I mentioned White Sox announcer/wangbag Hawk Harrelson’s hilarious pronunciation of “BS,” which places all the emphasis on the “B.” How awesome would it be if Vaughn from “Community” recorded “Hawk Harrelson is a B” as a crossover event?

- It’s the first Saturday of college football, even though they play so many games on all the other days of the week that it’s hardly special. Let’s see, any games I care about? No. But out of courtesy, I’ll mention a few games of note. #6 TCU is hosting #24 Oregon St., and kudos to Oregon St. for having the bollocks to actually play a road game against Mountain West powerhouse. You know the SEC would piss its pants at that idea. #18 UNC hosts #21 LSU, except since UNC managed to be the only team to actually get caught cheating, they’ll be missing about half their team. However, maybe LSU will give them some pointers on how they do it in the SEC so it won’t happen again. Is killing the SEC your schtick? It’s your first day, isn’t it. #12 Wisconsin is visiting UNLV in a game I hope will be close since I took the time to mention it. And UConn visits Michigan with the hopes and dreams of everyone that enjoys seeing Michigan get embarrassed in their hands (The dictionary definition of “discretion being the better part of valor” is my watching the end of Michigan-Appalachian St. with a bachelor party full of Michigan grads. I had to walk out of the sports book to another room and then proceeded to laugh so hard I damn near broke my crazy neck). And besides those four, lots of other teams are playing scrub teams for a payday and a cheap W and lots of perennial 6-6 teams are playing each other. And more money will change hands than during the entire sub-prime mortgage scandal.

Uga VII died for your sins, you SEC fucks!

- Ole Miss transfer QB Jeremiah Masoli has won his appeal and is now eligible to play for the Rebels this season. Which proves one of the great maxims in college sports: “If at first you commit enough crimes to get kicked off the team at Oregon, there’s always a home for you in the SEC.”

- Hey, Sir Rapealot got his suspension reduced from 6 to 4 games for “good behavior.” Namely, he may not have raped anyone in a few weeks. However, Steelers’ backup Byron Leftwich has a knee injury, leaving the Steelers with Dennis Dixon and Charlie Batch. Then again, my Skins have the Sex Cannon and John Beck backing up a brittle geriatric McNabb, so they’ve got it good. Anyway, let’s hope the Steelers’ first four games are against the best teams in the league and they start 0-4. And then the entire team beats the shit out of Roethlisberger for fucking them over the same way he fucked over so many incapacitated women.

- By the way, the Roethlisberger story also brought me my favorite ESPN.com headline of the week: “Source: Roethlisberger to Ask For Reduced Suspension.” Must have been a slow news day. Also, you really need an anonymous source for that? Sure, he’s going in there and asking for more games. “Yeah, this practicing and playing is kind of a drag. Can you suspend me the whole season so I can rape some more?”

- Speaking of sources, my source on last Sunday’s sadly neglected Sunday Brunch was none other than the famous Fuzzy Dunlop.

- Can I nominate Andy Roddick for Most Overrated Athlete in Sports? Can you top it?

BSC Young Boys' most prominent celebrity fan

- Congrats to the New Jersey Devils for finally getting their contract with Ilya Kovalchuk approved. Christ, I’m the biggest hockey fan here and even I forgot about that shit. The good news is that it’s only 1 month until hockey season. And only 5 days until Brett Favre’s first interception.

- Floyd “You Are a Runner and I Am My Father’s Son” Mayweather released a quasi-racist tirade about Manny Pacquiao. He’s definitely doing a great job with the whole heel angle. Except unlike pro wrestling, no one can make a guy who’s scared shitless of his opponent fight. Like anyone gives a shit anyway. I just like ripping on Floyd Mayweather.

- I don’t Twitter, as I explained during Tuesday’s Last Call, largely because I don’t understand how conversations work and there’s nothing I would say that I’d want everyone I know to read. But Kristen Bell does. So if you want to read what she has to say, especially about wanting to make a “Veronica Mars” movie (I don’t understand the fucking rest of it, which makes it like every single other Twitter account in the world), she’s all yours. Well, just in a Twitter sense. Fuse, this is a chance to gain an advantage on me.

- Toss-Up: More excruciating TV commercial — Any Honda spot with Mr. Opportunity or that Geico commercial with the pig? That fucking screeching is burned into my retinas.

- And finally, for those that weren’t at Wednesday’s Last Call, there is a Swiss professional soccer team called BSC Young Boys. Seriously. Not only that, but Green Eggs & Fulham added that their stadium is called the Wankdorf Stadium. Seriously. I think it is a categorical imperative that their cheering section be known as the Pederasts.

Have a serenading Saturday, you GDBs. Come back tomorrow for the Sunday Brunch, wherein I defend two people I can’t stand and eviscerate someone I actually like. And in honor of the Eastern’s seaboard’s alleged hurricane, lecoqsportif wanted me to remind you all that Earl’s in the trunk.

So, while I’m curled up under a rock, you lot have some fun with Last Call. I hear there’s something called College Football that started up yesterday…carry on, yo.

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So, anyhow, it’s time for Last Call. Regale us with tales from your local market, wherein the crazy cat ladies fight over the last can of Tender Vittles (or whatever, I don’t own a cat). Or, you know, talk about sports, that’s good too. Totally up to you folks.

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I’m going with the same girl two days in a row. I love redheads, and I just discovered this girl and fell in love. C’mon, tell me she’s not hot, I dare you to. I will hunt you down. Anyway, here’s your Eye Opener.

In the MLB your winners were the White Sox, Astros, Cubs, Phillies, D-Backs, Yankees, Red Sox, Braves, Reds, Marlins, Rays, Rangers, Twins, Giants, and Angels.

In US Open action you had 3 ranked players lose to unranked players. Highlighted by these two, Berdych lost in straight sets to Llorda in round 1. And the Great Amercian Hope, Andy Roddick lost to Tipsarevic in the second round. Which means America’s hope lies with Mardy Fish, or John Isner, who you may know better as the man who won the marathon match at Wimbeldon. In other words, it doesn’t look good for the US of A.

If you want good news for the great country of America, you can look to basketball. A sport we have no buisness ever losing, but somehow find a way of occasionally doing. But yesterday afternoon, team USA destroyed team Iran. If we lost, the NBA would have been forced to disband.

Now to what everybody cares about. Football. Apparently Big Ben Rapelisberger wants the suspension to go even lower than the anticipated 4 games we all thought it would be reduced to. He’s brining Gooddell’s butt buddy Arthur Rooney, so he may just get what he wants.

On tap for today is some week 4 preseason football, some baseball (we’re almost done), and Round 1 of the Deutsche Bank Championship in the PGA. In the US Open you can see Federer, Djokovic and Fish among otheres in Round 2 action on the men’s side. On the women’s side you can see Wozniacki, Jankovic, and every man’s favorite Sharapova, also in Round 2. That’s it for today, and if you live on the east coast, enjoy you’re hurricane.

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• I had always thought that things are bigger in Texas, but they’re even bigger in China.
• The visa regulations changed, so all the foreign teachers with my organization at my school were to go to Hong Kong (probably by bus) to get our visas changed to work permits. One person complained so instead of us all going, myself and another teacher went to Hong Kong carrying 16 other passports (leaving those teachers in China without passports, which is kinda a no-no).
• Once we got to Hong Kong, we can’t even get our own workpermits, because doing so would screw some of the others over, so we’re flying back to our city only to have to return to HK in a few days probably by train or bus that will take over 12 hours.
• The person who complained works as a lawyer in LA. Fuck him. because of him a decent plan (although only decent through chance it seems, since the office thinks that things are ducky) was shelved for one that they had no idea if it would work.
• At least we we were given a stipend for going, so we’re totally going to blow it on buying coffee (to take back) and eating at nice restaurants.

Otherwise:

• I’ve eaten something like octopus and some sort of snails. One month ago, I never would have thought this. I come from a family which ‘exotic’ is Mandarin or pizza. I guess I just think that all the food is dirty here (as in whole chicken in the soup, head and feet included), so I might as well try everything and see if I like it.
• I had a crayfish and mango sandwich today from a McDonald’s mccafe (HK). It was really good.
• I’m still optimistic about things here.
• Hope you like the picture of Arnold:

Damn, those Chinese sure know how to motivate! Woo! Thanks,  Semper, that was interesting, and in some spots, mildly disturbing.  Make sure you keep sending in updates!

An now that you’re all properly wound up, head over to Last Call at Avoiding the Drop.  I know you’re looking for ways to spend this extra energy you’ve got, but please don’t open the door to the Monkey Room Last fella to do that lost an appendage. And not something useless like hands or feet.

Sorry I zonked out on Monday, I pulled a muscle in my back and it was with great effort that I made it from my bedroom to the computer room today. But I toughed it out, swallowed some advil, and got you an eye opener, even if it is closer too lunch. Let’s just say we were out really late last night. Now without further ado, yesterday’s news…

Your MLB winners were the White Sox, Orioles, Yankees, Braves, Reds, Marlins, Blue Jays, Pirates, Astros, Royals, Twins, Diamondbacks, Mariners, Phillies, and Giants.

Apparently the PGA has suspended the rule that made Furyk miss the Barclays. I’m sure that makes him feel soooo much better.

And Mark Ingram will apparently miss week 1 of the NCAA College Football season. Hopfully Alabama will have enough to get by San Jose State without him. We really gotta do away with these games. What’s the spread on that game now that Ingram is out? Bama -48?

Things to watch for today. 4 of the top 6 women are in action in the US Open second round today. On the men’s side you have Roddick and Murray going.

Also you got the 4th episode of Hard Knocks on at 10 on HBO. I won’t be watching since I don’t have HBO, but I’m sure I’ll find it online tomorrow.

Well I’m back to bed and my heating pad. Hopfully everyone else is having a better week than me. And hopfully I’ll be back tomorrow, with alot less pain. Till than, stay classy San Diego.

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