Currently lost in the brouhaha over “journalistic ethics” concerning the Steve Phillips case is the simple truth that this story is patently hilarious. Let’s look at a little timeline here. Steve Phillips, while GM of the Mets, does the proverbial wild thing with one of his underlings, and winds up getting sued for sexual harassment. He is later given the gate, not for that, but because he’s terrible at his job. He inexplicably winds up as an analyst at ESPN, and is equally terrible at his job. He then does the proverbial wild thing with one of his underlings, who this time, instead of suing him, goes after his wife, who’s apparently still with him. She sends Mrs. Phillips a letter that reads like Twilight fan fiction, indicating how much she’d like to meet her. Being a woman of her word, Brooke Hundley shows up at Mrs. Phillips’ door and this whole affair finally blows up. Is anyone surprised? Of course not. He looks like a used car salesman and has a history of this kind of thing. Do I feel bad for anyone? No. Everyone knew what they were getting into when they got into the Steve Phillips business, including Brooke Hundley.

In a vital component of being terrible at his job, Steve Phillips participated in one of the most ill-conceived and derided TWWL gimmicks of all time – he participated in fake press conferences playing the GM of several Major League Baseball teams. Apparently, his experience as a bad GM gave him credibility? I dropped out of law school, so maybe I could be their legal analyst. Anyway, with Halloween coming up, I think it’s time for a little dress-up. Let’s address this Steve Phillips situation in the most fitting way possible – with a fake press conference. Playing the role of Steve Phillips will be … (looks around room, sees nobody else) me, Old King Clancy!

OK, let me put on this Steve Phillips costume here. OK, now that I’m in character, I feel a sudden obligation to go to a public park and start jackin’ it. I hope this little charade is over soon. OK, someone hit my fucking theme music!

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Your baseball team of choice has likely called up a few minor leaguers on September 1st, and may continue to do so throughout the month. If you were like me, you probably don’t know the specifics on how it works. Extra players would just magically appear in September, while announcers would ignore explaining how it worked and instead babble on about how great the Big Red Machine was in the 70’s. I researched this on the interwebs and am passing along the knowledge to you, the loyal pub frequenter. So, this is a simplified explanation of the rules that govern those call-ups.

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